I try to be..

Calm, Cool and Collected.

I try to be that mom people look at and say "man she makes that look easy". Cuz really, I have a 2.5 year gap between Agent P and the twins and upon first glance it does appear somewhat chaotic. I like to think that it is organized chaos that I have completely under control.  Or to at least appear that way so that people don't offer up their typical comments that I endure on a regular basis. 

Today I wondered if I was taking that a little too far. I was at the grocery store (a necessary evil) with the 3 younger ones, when out of one ear I heard a small *coughing on my cracker* cough. I was about 3 feet from the cart (looking at juice or planning my escape you decide) and I didn't even flinch or look. Seriously not even a twitch. Then I hear a lady say "oh my goodness are you OK???" Very worried and very concerned. Then I looked (hoping some passerby wasn't going to have to Heimlich one of my kids). But by then, I figured out she was talking to her daughter who was carrying a baggy of crackers and looked to be at least 6. She then continued with her daughter "I thought you were choking it was such a horrible cough!".  There was more but you get the distinctly opposite response to the situation.

Now honestly, I really didn't think the cough was that bad. Certainly to get my attention there would need to be more than one hack at the cracker imbedded in their throat and to really get me moving some gagging sounds or noises.

But for a fleeting moment, I thought to myself how sad that was. One of my chicklets could have actually been choking and here I was just trying to find the juice that the coupon pictured. The juice was for them if that gives me any consolation points...

Perhaps in my attempt to allow chaos to rise to a level 4 or so before reacting, I've permitted myself to tune out the other sounds that may come from the chicklets before the ear piercing screams, hitting, yelling, grabbing, pushing or throwing begins.

And if I allowed this, I do I figure out how to decipher out the emergent sounds and the annoying fighting sounds?

I'm not sure I can.

So, while I may try to be Calm, Cool and Collected...I probably come off more as the mom that onlookers laugh, roll their eyes, gasp, *ahem* real loud in hopes that I might notice that one of my chicklets needs to be handled. And I ignore those sounds too :- )