Dang Varmint

I am sure many of you would be very surprised to know that I am not really fond of little critters that scurry about. That they literally freak. me. out.! They are not my friends and I don't pretend that they are.


You may not be surprised to find out I've been known to scream like a little girl at the mere thought of an encounter with one of those rabid little hairy creatures. 


Ok, I'm sure that they aren't rabid, and sure, maybe they are more afraid of me than I am of them...but I find it highly unlikely. 


So, can you imagine what happened when A-Dog came in one day, to tell me there was something floating in the pool and I really needed to come quick?  


Maybe you can't imagine...But, I was a pillar of strength. Or a pillar that would not be budged from the kitchen. I was very busy contemplating dinner or thinking I should scrub the grout in the tile. Anything to appear VERY busy.


A-Dog is genetically predisposed to over reacting to spiders, bees and little creatures that scurry about. So, his recount of what was actually out there was somewhat unreliable. But he said it was a "yard rat thingy floating in the pool".


It was decided that the best way to deal with this was to call Dad. Immediately.


He was very not sympathetic.


At all.


In fact, I'm sure he laughed. A Lot.


BUT, I informed him he would accompany us as we walked out with to check out the situation. Sometimes A-Dog cannot be trusted on the actual size of icky creatures. Again, it's genetic and I don't fault him. His Gramma is the same way.


So,  after warning my sweet husband there would be screaming, we ventured out into the pool area.


Here it was...prepare yourselves friends...

hairy varmint that no longer scurries...I hope.

A-Dog and I argued a bit...I tried to pull the mama card and tell him he HAD to removed said varmint. It didn't work. It was best we hung up the phone or it likely would be landing in the pool at any point in which this mama freaked out.


We decided that we would BOTH remove the varmint-TOGETHER. So, we got the pool net - extended as far as it would go. 


(We discussed what we would do if when we pulled it above the water and it started moving and running at us. (Please I beg of you, don't ask how that conversation went. It is embarrassing for us both.) )


We stuck the net in the pool, lifted the varmint up in the net.  He was very dead. Thank you very much.


At this point, we are still both holding the pole - but we needed to get the gate open. UGH.  I let go, and A-Dog got him thru the gate with our 12 foot pole. 


We walked about 3 feet and I said to A-Dog "ok, you walk over there and throw him into the dessert". "WHAT??? HOW???"


I demonstrated with my invisible pole. Move pole behind you, lift quicly over the top of you and sling it out - in a rainbow motion. BUT, do not, I repeat DO NOT stop when the pole is over your head - or the dang varmint will land on you.  I assured him screaming was A-OK. 


We stood there looking at each other for what seemed like days - but was probably only 10 seconds.


Then...he DID IT!

Now, I'm sure you are wondering to yourself...WHY ON EARTH DID YOU STOP AND TAKE A PICTURE??????


It was from my phone. It was in my pocket. And we prevailed.


The varmint was gone, and it didn't land on us in any way.