Why I blame Mother Goose

I think that everyone has heard of Mother Goose, right? Hard not to have heard Mother Goose if you grew up in the US. 


Part of our current 1st grade curriculum has Mother Goose as part of our daily reading. They (writers of said curriculum) wanted me to purchase this new book and follow along with which poems I was to read each day. There is no activity that goes with it, just poetry and nursery rhyme introduction.


Soooo, since I'm not a complete follower...


I pulled out the Mother Goose book that I got when I was 3. Suffice to say, it is older than 10 years old. Maybe even 20. (ya, just checked the copyright...1954...but that's not how old I am thank you..)


But you can't actually change MG, right? I mean Nursery Rhymes DO remain the same right?


So, when it says to read page 9, I can just pull out a random poem and read...RIGHT???


Someone agree with me here, or it will totally blow the image I have of myself as a somewhat responsible person.


Today, I flipped the book open to find something on the fly that I recognized.


Here was what we read:


"There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,
She had so many children she didn't know what to do (I hear ya sister!)
She gave them some broth without any bread;
She whipped them all soundly and put them to bed"


If you don't see the part where I may have gasped, you just don't understand me at all. 


Had nothing to do with her house, I'll give you that one for free.


And I'm not saying that her kids didn't deserve it either.


I'm saying that all 3 of the kids just sat and stared at me when I said "She WHIPPED them all soundly and put them to bed". 


Then I caught myself - "I mean wiped. She cleaned up their faces".


Not that I am opposed to letting my kids in on the simple fact that the Old Woman felt overwhelmed and the kids needed a good whipping or anything. I mean, she was OLD. And she had A LOT of kids (the picture shows 17 ages 10ish and under).


I just wasn't quite prepared for that right after our morning devotion about how it makes God happy when we are in charge of things and take care of them (such as animals, children, trees and flowers).  


Because I don't think that is what God meant as a lead in to the Old Woman's naughty kids.


I think I might actually need to hand pick (pre-read more like) my Nursery Rhymes and Mother Goose Rhymes. 


Or get a good therapist.... because here is another one you might like.


"Little Nancy Etticoat,
With a white petticoat,
and a red nose;
She has no feet or hands, (focus on this line as what I would have to explain to my peeps)
The longer she stands
The shorter she grows."


I will stick with Little Miss Muffet I think...

The Washing Machine

I know. You are probably sitting there thinking "has she just run out of stories?"


No. 


Not even close.


But some of my stories are just so far fetched, I thought I had better toss in something that seemed realistic.


A few months ago a few of us were chatting about our stinky front load washers (stinky even after a load is just done). Because that is what upscale Moms do. We talk about our washers. And why they make us crazy. Besides the fact that we have to use them.


A friend suggested that I make my own detergent. I laughed - HA. Just like that. Or, it might have also included a bit of a snort and snicker and a look that said "are you stinkin' kidding me???"


But she is a mom who has endured busy-ness with her own twins (now 14) and so I know she would never lead me astray. 


I hope.


So, since I was really tired of the stench that my washer was sharing with the rest of the house, I decided - how hard could it be?


I mean, I am a pretty good judge of most time management situations. 


Except the time I thought apple picking with the kids would be fun and I would have apples to make pie and stuff. Then I forgot I have 4 kids. And a husband. And ended up with nearly 100 apples to wash, peel, core, slice and prepare for freezer.


Or recently when I thought it would be fun to make peach jam. Since I had never done that before. Ya, cuz apparently I forgot I have 4 kids, and schedules, and the list goes on.


Thankfully, my parents always seem to know when I might have gotten myself in over my own head. They sweetly ask if they can come help because they just have nothing else to do that day. (as a side note - the apple /corer/slicer - totally worth the money). 


Back to the washer.


Like a good little internet searcher - I found a recipe for homemade laundry detergent. After I found like 10 that were nearly identical, I figured it wasn't a scam.


So I obtained the 3 ingredients needed and made detergent.


Then I also found out my washer has a setting called "tub wash".


So, after a good "tub wash" and switching detergent - MY WASHER DOESN'T STINK. 


AT ALL.


EVER.


Seriously.


I also don't use softener anymore (any one need some 7th Gen3ration softener? : ) ). 


The clothes have been less stinky because the washer is less stinky. 


Thank goodness.


And here you were thinking there was no way I could do an entire post on my washer. 


Maybe next week I will do the dishwasher.

Schooling Success!

I've started several posts and just couldn't finish a single one. 


My mind wanders. 


The laundry piles up.


My life moves forward so quickly. 


More things happen than I can remember and nary a photo to show for it lately.


I have a box of art projects that is over flowing.


I have school papers that need to be filed.


I have lesson plans to organize.


I have books to sort through and separate in to school, reference, school readers and fun reads.


But today. Today is special.


Today all my hard work of teaching my children at home has come to fruition. 


Today my nearly 4 year old twins discovered that they could take the lid off the train table, clear out all the toys stored in there, put Mini P's pillow, blanket and Mini P herself in there - and then have her brother put the lid back on. 


And fit.


I am a proud parent and can't believe how amazingly intelligent my children are.


I mean let's face it. That took creativity, math calculations and ingenuity to come up with that.


During nap.

When they should be sleeping.


In their beds.


And that is exactly why I have so little time to blog. :)

Things I wonder

Sometimes I look around and just wonder. Wonder, not wAnder. Let's be clear about where this post might be going. We all know my random tendencies to wander all over the place far out weigh my ability to stay on track.


I don't know why that is.


I wonder why I make up the twins' beds with a pillow at the head of the bed if they are going to sleep at the other end, sideways. I mean, in theory I could use just one bed and call it good. But then that could create some issues with who got what side and who was going to scratch whose back first...


I wonder how certain things in my house just disappear. POOF! Things such as baseball sliding shorts...that are taken off in the laundry room and immediately put in the "oh holy cow these are very dirty don't wash them with anything else" basket. We are down 1 pair. Baseball games start tomorrow. We cannot live with one pair.


I wonder why A-Dogs always asks "what's for dinner". EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. Like I'M supposed to know??? I may cook be in charge of 97.4% of all meals in this house. That doesn't mean I always know what those meals may be. I'm not psychic you know.


I really wonder why people don't notify me when I go in public with stickers on my shirt. Like kitty cats. Or ones that say "Terrific" and "100%". Seriously people. I am not trying to make a fashion statement, I'm trying to just blend in. I cannot blend in if I'm wearing stickers on my shirt.


I do wonder simple things too. Like why summer isn't over. Why someone has to be in a cranky mood everyday. Why my house never stays clean. Why dinner doesn't make itself. Ya know, simple things like that.

This weeks highlights

Because really, who doesn't want to hear the highlights? It has to be better than the full details, right? I will warn you, the excitement might send you into fits of jumping up and down screaming "I can't believe that!!!". Please be careful. Don't hurt yourself.


This week:


Monkey peed the bed.


7 times.


I had to wash Monkey's bedding.


7 times.


The twins got new bedding - because I have never purchased toddler bedding specifically for them. Even tho they have been in toddler beds for about 2 years. 


Obviously Mom of four The Year.


I put Monkey's bedding back in the closet until he quits peeing the bed.


Agent P had an absolute great week with school and it is so awesome to see him grasp something that he was struggling with. To see it make sense and the excitement in his eyes when he knows he's awesome!


I made and ate way too much salsa this week. I think I might have o.d'd on garlic. I have bad breath. Please keep your distance. It's for your own safety.


A-Dog was elected as the Vice President of NJHS (National Junior Honor Society). His speech was TOP NOTCH and was genuine and sincere and perfect. 


I fished out a dead lizard from the pool, all by myself.


I created an indoor "dump" for Monkey to drive his truck in - with rice, beans and lentils. It is in a plastic box on the floor to play with. He loovveess it.


I worked out 3 times this week at boot camp (interval training) but have not run a mile since May. Too hot.  I am addicted to the workout - I am sore every day :)


I ran in a storm that included horizontal quarter sized rain - from ADogs practice field to the van - and got so completely drenched that I squeezed about 1/2 cup of water from my shoes. 


But it was not a mile. Only .2 maybe.


So it doesn't actually count.


Mini P took about 8 pieces of rice from the dump and called them "her family". And made conversations between them. In different voices. For almost an hour.


I put a slice of cookie dough in a bowl and ate it. Without sharing. Or announcing I was doing so. Or letting anyone know it was an option. 


Cuz it's not. 


Only for me. I make the rules. You don't have to like it, it's just how it is.


I regretted using brown rice and brown lentils in the "dump" I made for Monkey. What was I thinking? They are the same stinking color as the carpet. They keep sticking to my feet. I don't wear shoes. I should.


I printed what seemed like 732 preschool activity sheets for the twins, so I could do school with Agent P.


I ran out of ink.


Good think I had ordered some. 


UPS came right in the nick of time and saved the day!


Tomorrow I think I will do laundry, act like I'm not in charge of cooking meals or changing bedding. I may vacuum. I think there might be rice in the carpet. I'm pretty sure I will sleep in. To 6am. And if I don't, I will act like I am. I may buy some more beans (not brown), or larger objects for the "dump". 


I will NOT get up early enough to see this:

My sweet husband was up this week to witness it. It is beautiful, but so is sleep!

Happy 5th Birthday Hank!

Oh Hank. You have survived 5 years. I know that during the hot summers you thought you might not make it to winter, even after we had misters installed...for YOU. Sad but true. Yet here you still are (miserable at the moment - it is hot outside)!!!


You are loved and adored and definitely don't get petted near enough. Hint to you my friend - stop the stinkin' slimy drool slingin'. I'd SO be all over petting you if you didn't have to get slime on me. It's gross, and frankly it freaks the kids out too.


Thank you so much for being an awesome dog to the kids (besides the slimy drool thing). For being patient with them when they pet pound you on the back or step on your tail. For sitting impatiently when it's feeding time and they drop your bowl of food outside of your boundaries and pick it up one by one. You are a good dog!


Thank you for sliming loving the UPS guy. He delivers many items to our home, we need to stay on his good side.


So, for all your awesome-ness...


You get to have a stray dog show up on a stormy night friend over!


Even have that nice doggy invade your space in the garage over night have a sleep over!


Plus, he was here the entire next day we'll even let him stay all day!


He even gave you fleas a present!

Hope it was a great birthday Hank!  Can't wait to do it again next year!

Things I just can't make up

There are days here in the crazy zone my life that I just look around and wonder if someone is actually filming me. I imagine that certainly someone has to be getting entertained at my expense. So, if you have missed the video cast of this, I will give you the written version just a small part of my Tuesday. 


You are very welcome. Glad I could help.


1. Mini P says to her twin brother as he has runny nose evidence approaching his lip "just use your tongue to lick it up (demonstrating her tongue licking upwards towards her nose) . That's what I do".  ME: How about if we get a tissue??? HER: No, licking it works fine.


Yuck. Who does she belong to anyway??? A family of orangutans? I need to keep a better eye on her when she has a cold.


2. In the middle of dinner, Mini P (see a theme here? apparently she is on a roll this week) says as she lifts her shirt up to her neck..."what are these?" (pointing to her upper girlie parts).  


**It would be remiss of me not to mention that we have already had this conversation with her multiple times. She is VERY aware of all her body parts as well as those of her brothers. 


So, I look around the table, wondering if I am supposed to answer the question, or if someone else might just grab it and go with it.


Nope. 


Not one person stepped up.


So, I said..."those are your..uh..ya know (because I felt that identifying exact body parts at dinner might just be crossing a line) some of your girl parts."


Agent P stands up from the table and says with gusto "Will they get like THIS (holding both hands about 8 inches from his own chest) when she is bigger???".


Oh, she can only hope. She can only hope.


Can we all sit down and just eat our food? Quietly?




I am sorry for not having a picture of a 3.5 year old boy with snot running down his face and a 3.5 year old girl with her shirt up to her neck. 


I'll just leave you a picture of my happy place....

Maui March 2009

ahhhh, I feel better already...