Kids gone rogue

I can count on one hand the number of times I've gone to Target and the story went : "I went to Target, bought what I needed, saved some money and it was smooth sailing - Thanks and The End".


That would be too easy.


I also need to admit to you that I write many amazing posts in my head at night. You know when you lay down and you start to just slightly relax and zone out? I feel very witty at that exact moment. 


I debated bringing a pad of paper to bed and write down what I was thinking of...but it's dark. And I realized I can't write in the dark. And I'm not witty.


So, this might have been funnier in my head last night...


Anyway, we went to Target, the 3 little people and I (although, one is almost not little anymore...he turns 7 soon).  


It was going as it normally did..."why can't we get chocolate pudding?", "why can't we get the green jello?", "why can't we get THIS Easter candy???"...with me saying "please stop hanging on the cart", "hands to yourself please", "no we can't get that", "we NEED to leave"...


But Mini P needed socks, so we were in the little girl section. And here is where it went down hill.


I do hesitate to share this story. 


It is not typical.


It is a bit...Rated R. Rated R for kids anyway. So stop now if you are easily offended or plan on reporting me to CPS.


And I don't want you to think I'm picking on Mini P, but I can't help it. I promise - I have a great post about A-Dog and his 1st place SARSEF (Science Fair) project, Agent P's first baseball game and Monkey...well, I'm sure I can come up with something entertaining.


Anyway, I must be stalling.


In the girls section Mini P pointed to the bras and said "Hey mom, you have one of those! Those are to wear over THESE" Lifting her shirt entirely up to show everyone and pointing. "Mine are little, but mom - yours are BIG!!!". 


(Aw, thanks Mini P, if only you really knew....)


I keep walking. Wondering why this little girl keeps following me calling me mom...


Then she says "Ya know, when I tickle the pink part (mind you, shirt still up), it tickles" (Me: quietly...OH DEAR). Me: "Sis, please put your shirt down".


I could be one of those lucky mom's who had kids who listen the first time.


But no, she keeps going.


Mini P: "SEE, watch....HAHAHAHAHA....that tickles". Still walking around with her shirt up.


Then. When I thought it couldn't get worse, it does. 


Monkey walks over - gets about 2 inches from her and her pulled up shirt and says "Hey, let me try"


Oh geez. What in the world has come over these kids...and where is their mother????


Before I could turn around..she lets him...and then laughs. Then he laughs. Me, I tried not to laugh.


I think I'm going to start going to Target on the weekend when I can leave them all home...because after that trip, I might need therapy...or they might...or any onlooker might...


The End.


Cheers and enjoy your day and please, leave your shirt down.