Kids gone rogue

I can count on one hand the number of times I've gone to Target and the story went : "I went to Target, bought what I needed, saved some money and it was smooth sailing - Thanks and The End".


That would be too easy.


I also need to admit to you that I write many amazing posts in my head at night. You know when you lay down and you start to just slightly relax and zone out? I feel very witty at that exact moment. 


I debated bringing a pad of paper to bed and write down what I was thinking of...but it's dark. And I realized I can't write in the dark. And I'm not witty.


So, this might have been funnier in my head last night...


Anyway, we went to Target, the 3 little people and I (although, one is almost not little anymore...he turns 7 soon).  


It was going as it normally did..."why can't we get chocolate pudding?", "why can't we get the green jello?", "why can't we get THIS Easter candy???"...with me saying "please stop hanging on the cart", "hands to yourself please", "no we can't get that", "we NEED to leave"...


But Mini P needed socks, so we were in the little girl section. And here is where it went down hill.


I do hesitate to share this story. 


It is not typical.


It is a bit...Rated R. Rated R for kids anyway. So stop now if you are easily offended or plan on reporting me to CPS.


And I don't want you to think I'm picking on Mini P, but I can't help it. I promise - I have a great post about A-Dog and his 1st place SARSEF (Science Fair) project, Agent P's first baseball game and Monkey...well, I'm sure I can come up with something entertaining.


Anyway, I must be stalling.


In the girls section Mini P pointed to the bras and said "Hey mom, you have one of those! Those are to wear over THESE" Lifting her shirt entirely up to show everyone and pointing. "Mine are little, but mom - yours are BIG!!!". 


(Aw, thanks Mini P, if only you really knew....)


I keep walking. Wondering why this little girl keeps following me calling me mom...


Then she says "Ya know, when I tickle the pink part (mind you, shirt still up), it tickles" (Me: quietly...OH DEAR). Me: "Sis, please put your shirt down".


I could be one of those lucky mom's who had kids who listen the first time.


But no, she keeps going.


Mini P: "SEE, watch....HAHAHAHAHA....that tickles". Still walking around with her shirt up.


Then. When I thought it couldn't get worse, it does. 


Monkey walks over - gets about 2 inches from her and her pulled up shirt and says "Hey, let me try"


Oh geez. What in the world has come over these kids...and where is their mother????


Before I could turn around..she lets him...and then laughs. Then he laughs. Me, I tried not to laugh.


I think I'm going to start going to Target on the weekend when I can leave them all home...because after that trip, I might need therapy...or they might...or any onlooker might...


The End.


Cheers and enjoy your day and please, leave your shirt down.

Sweet Revenge

(This post is dedicated to my amazing Aunt Laurel and Uncle Don (D and L) who loved me like their own, enough to tolerate summer after summer with me.  To thank them for the memories that they helped create!)


Growing up, my brother and I would spend our summers (until about 1st/2nd grade??) with my Aunt and 3 cousins. When my Aunt would take all us kids to the store she'd play "guess which kids are mine". My poor cousin 'H' (1 year older than me). She has brown hair. No one ever thought she belonged. The rest of us were all stark blonde with blue eyes. I'm betting she had some therapy over that.

For as long as I can remember, my Aunt Laurel has said to me "I hope you have a daughter just like you and 'L' ". 'L' is my cousin - she is 1 year younger than me. Peas in a pod.

'L' and me-judge not our clothing, there are no words.

Although, I don't think that 'L' and I were all that bad. I will give you some examples, you decide.

1.  We ate kool-@id straight from the container.

     While standing on the counter.

     During nap/resting time.

     (And got caught.)

2.  We ate 'H's' communion wafers.  

First of all, we were doing her a favor. We have no clue how she got ahold of those, but clearly we were saving her from her stealing self by confiscating the evidence of her one impropriety. 

3. There was the incident with the neighbor boy and the sidewalk.  We may have bullied him. And told him that he, under no circumstance would pass the house on OUR sidewalk. It was our property (big words for me, since I didn't live there, 'L' did...). 

It's possible we threatened him with bodily harm. We were 5 and 6 maybe. We admit (while giggling to this day) it probably wasn't nice...since we've since discovered that sidewalks in front of houses are public.

4.  I think we may have used all of 'H's' favorite perfume or something. She says we did. But she did make a LOT of accusations back then. Probably trying to get some attention as the black sheep child that no one in society believed she belonged in her family. THAT is on my Aunt's shoulders, not ours. 'L' and I loved her like she was a sister! ;)

5. This one you will not believe got us in trouble.  We scrubbed the sidewalk outside my Aunt/Uncle's bedroom.  We had used chalk on it and weren't allowed to. SO, since we didn't want to get caught, we scrubbed it. 

With their toothbrushes. I'm guessing we weren't smart enough to wash the toothbrushes thoroughly enough because we obviously got caught.

But I should stop. I think you get the picture. I was not as angelic as many of you might have imagined. Some of you may be downright SHOCKED. 


Sadly they are all true stories and only the tip of the iceberg. Many a day was spent in the corner (timeout). What can I say? We craved fun and adventure, sitting in the corner was a small price to pay.


So I can tell you Aunt Laurel, after a few conversations with Mini P this week - you are getting your wish. 


Mini P was very angry that after nap time (in which she was naughty and messed around, laughed, got out of bed, played with her brother - the list goes on), that I wouldn't give her some money for her new bank from VBS.


So was so mad she said "I am going to be VERY mad at you.". Oh I said. "and I won't be your friend". That's so sad for me!, I told her "AND, I'm going to scream VERY LOUDLY in your ear!!!!" But I'm taller than you Mini P, I said. "UGH" and she stomped off.


She can also cry instantaneously and spring tears faster than you can ask her what's wrong. 


She can talk and cry at the same time and no one has any clue what she says and we all find it difficult not to laugh.


She is instant drama.


She is sassy and head strong and sassy. Sassy deserves to be mentioned more than once. 


So, Aunt Laurel, I'm sorry you only got 1 Great Niece from me, but that is all I can handle:)


Let me know if you want to spend the summer with her! :)

Dear Growth Spurts...

..while I often appreciate your seasonally appropriate timing, I would appreciate another month this year before making my small children look as though their mama refuses to put them in pants that fit. It makes me look bad and people look at them (me) funny. Thanks. The End.






I used to always feel sorry for those kids I would see with high-water pants. I would think "can't their mama just get them pants that fit??". It borders on abuse. And now I have more compassion for kids who have mama's like me...and make them just wear the clothes because the seasons are about to change and they refuse to buy them new pants. They will grow out of them before the next cold snap anyway.


Agent P came into my room one day ready to leave...in a pair of Monkeys pants (I wonder which kid put away laundry that week??). Agent P is thinner than Monkey, so he didn't really notice they didn't actually fit at the bottom of his legs...even though I could see half of his shin. He looked down after I mentioned those may not be his pants and decided that maybe, just maybe they weren't his. Glad I noticed this before leaving the house.  I have been known to be oblivious to what they wear.


Then A-Dog put on his baseball cleats - that we just bought in Fall. They fit in November. They were big in fact. For his birthday a friend gave him a new pair of cleats. I know, it's a very odd gift...they were on sale and I had him pick us up a pair. Long story short, it coincided with A-Dog's birthday, so he just gave them to him. I figured that in about a year or so, they might fit. They were a size and a half bigger than the cleats he was wearing. I almost felt really bad that someone wasted money on him like that.


They fit. Barely. Unbelievable.


Have I mentioned how expensive shoes get as kids get bigger?


I bought the 3 little people new shoes a couple weeks ago - it was sad when I realized that the total of all 3 pairs was about what I spent on A-Dog's last pair of shoes. 


I may have to break into his college fund just to keep shoes on the kid.


I am grateful that he wears shorts 98% of the year and owns only 3 pairs of pants. Clothes last longer that way.


And he doesn't have to embarrass me get embarrassed. 


But the other 3...


I have no guarantees that they won't embarrass me. With their clothes. Or behavior. :)

Third time is a charm!

Most people say that phrase and think "my third attempt will reap success", meaning the third time they tried something, THEY DID IT!!!


For me, last week, the phrase meant something totally different!


For ME it was nearly the opposite.


First time - Mini P (The Snowflake) got hurt, sliced her chin open and needed stitches. I still can feel myself about to pass out just thinking about that.


Ok, I'm back.


Second time - Monkey jumped (broke my arm) and got a cast.


Well, third time is a charm!


We were at the park last Tuesday. I can say with all certainty the day because all I could think of was "really? 1 day before the cast comes off ONE kid...another one will be getting one on?"  


I was doing Bootcamp. We (four of us that day) work out on the basketball court...our kids play on the playground. My kids usually bring scooters because they are fun on the big court.


Well, I hear my friend 'L' gasp and we all look to the playground to see Agent P tumbling down at the end of the curvy plastic slide...


with a scooter.


We all looked at each other.


Unsure of what the next appropriate step should be. 


Laugh? I mean, the kid did just try to ride a scooter down a curvy slide...that is funny!


Scream and run? It wasn't pretty...


Well....


We listened (for screams) and watched (for obvious injuries).


I have 4 kids. I didn't go running.  I have 4 kids. Did I mention that?  I tend to let things work of a little if they can.


So, when I saw him limping, I went over to him. 


Agent P and I talked and decided that maybe, just maybe, it seemed like a good idea at the time...but it actually wasn't. 


Nothing broken. No stitches needed. No broken scooter. 


So, third time WAS a charm...and I saved a few hundred dollars! 


Cheers!

Home Schooling

My regular 3 readers know that I home school Agent P. For a random reader who stumbled upon my site by accident (don't leave yet...) he would be a 1st grader and this is my first year. I haven't even completed the year...but here's prayin' I do!


Many people question (and criticize) our decision to home school.


Heck, sometimes one of those people is ME.


Many people literally question it "Why on EARTH would you do that". 


Again, I have also said those exact words.


It's not easy. It's not cheap (per se). 


So, when I try to explain WHY we do it - usually I site my educational reasons. He gets to move at his pace. Spend longer in areas he needs to, skip things he already knows, read books he definitely would not read at school.


Our curriculum is Christian based. We do Bible stories everyday. We read a book that tells stories about Missionaries. He has Bible versus to read and memorize each week. That is on top of the regular reading, writing, math, science, history, music and art - plus field trips.


Today was like every other day.


Arguing. Not talking nice to each other. (Because of course, the 4 year olds are at home too.) Agent P got in trouble.  It has been happening more as his 4 year old siblings have been challenging him more, arguing back. It's more fun than scrubbing the toilet.


So. Today. On "Free Friday", where if all school work is done, he gets free choice - Wii, movie, game...whatever.  Well, today it got taken away just as the twins were going to take a nap. That meant, during nap, with no kids to play with - he would not get his "Free Friday". 


He wrote me a note, on his own - I did not ask for it.  

THAT is why we Home School. And yes, I gave him his privileges back because what else was I supposed to do? He called me out that God already forgave him...shouldn't I? :)


Cheers!

Catch up. Not Ketsup.

I admit. I have about 4 posts that I have started and not completed.


It's sad. I know you want to see the mounds of rock that we broke our backs moving from a large pile and spread out. I say we. I mean we for most of it. Then it becomes he. But whatever.


I'm sure you are wondering if I even photo graph my kids anymore. 


I do.


Downloading those onto the computer...


Another story all together.


Let me give you the quick and dirty.


I'm behind. As usual. I should not be surprised by this.


I blame my Kindle. It has books on it. I read them.


I procrastinate other things.


So here't the top 5. 


1. Monkey broke his arm.  (ok ok. I'm going to download a photo now.)

I am happy it wasn't jumping off the bed. No, nothing like that.


He was jumping on the couch. After repeatedly being told not to. He waited until we weren't in the room. If we can't see him, it didn't happen, right?


He has been great about the cast for the most part. He would rather hide it in his jacket then flaunt it around like a green trophy attached to his arm. 


It comes off tomorrow.


2. It snowed.  It snows here once a year. Weird. It can be December, March - whatever. Always random. Valentine's Day this year.

I'd like to say that I immediately ended nap time and dressed them all up in their winter wonderland snow gear and set them out to do snow angels and build snowmen.  That did not happen.  We barely remember to get jackets when we leave the house. We do not own snow garb, so, only Agent P got to play in it while it snowed.


Don't judge me. Agent P went through 3 outfits and 2 hot baths to recover from this adventure. Do the math ;). The twins got to spend some time in the snow after nap and it was half melted away.


3.  Some of last year's projects are getting worked on now. 


It's hard to keep up around here. Seriously. Especially when we opt to spend time with friends and have BBQs and not do yard work/house work/project.


But, here is the raised beds getting painted. Not filled or planted mind you, but at least painted.

Yes, it looks pink. It won't stay. It will be brown. Trust me.


Next on deck? Finish beds, yes...but after that? Chicken coop!


4.  Soccer ended.  It started in November I think, maybe earlier. Then there were rain outs and holidays and whatnot.  But, now it's over.  Agent P LOVED it. It was overwhelming at first and the learning curve was tough, but by the end he really had a good handle on it. I think in the 12 or so games they had, he scored 3 goals. Not bad for the youngest and smallest!

5. The big boys jumped in the pool over the weekend.


It was 56 degrees. The pool, not the air temp. The air temp was closer to 75.  It was a dare and Agent P was first to get in and reluctantly ADog went as well. No one wants to be out done by their younger brother. Plus, Agent P was getting a trip to get ice cream and ADog would be devastated to not get to go.  My sweet husband did NOT get in, but he got ice cream too...for driving I guess. ;)


There. That is something right? 


Cheers!

Predicted Profession

For Grandpa's birthday, Mini P (age 4) made him a card...with no help.

Can you read it? Do you need help?


"Hbe=Happy, bty=Birthday, GPU=Grandpa, LV=love, Ainslie=Ainslie.


If she doesn't get picked up by Hallm@rk, I'm guessing she will make a good living writing (and interpreting) vanity license plates.